


Batbrothers and Kittens

by Write_No_Evil



Category: Batgirl (Comics), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin Eternal (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Bat Bonding, Bat Family, Crack, Fluff, Gen, batbrothers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:12:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6536506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Write_No_Evil/pseuds/Write_No_Evil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For almost a year, they didn't know. She gave them nothing to suspect she was hiding anything. Not even Damian knew. She grew close to them and not once did they ever suspected it was her. And by the time they knew? It was much too late to stop it.</p><p>"Jason!! Get here! It's an emergency!! CODE RED CODE RED!!! Get to the Manor as quickly as possible. Tim's down and we can't find Damian!" </p><p>Jason gets to the Manor, but the sight that greets him stops him dead in his tracks.</p><p> </p><p>~The Batfamily have been through so much, they need some time to relax, have fun and be a happy family for once.~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batbrothers and Kittens

**Author's Note:**

> I've written so much angst for this family, especially about Jason, that I thought I should write something where they're a happy family and nothing bad happens to them for a day.

For almost a year, they didn't know. She gave them nothing to doubt she was hiding anything. Not even Damian knew. She grew close to them and not once did they ever suspect it was her. And by the time they knew? It was much too late to stop it.

* * *

"Jason!! Get here! It's an emergency!! CODE RED CODE RED!!! Get to the Manor as quickly as possible. Tim's down and we can't find Damian!" Jason threw himself off the sofa he was sat on, panic and fear crashing through him. In his haste to get to them he almost forgot his helmet. Luckily he was already in Red Hood uniform and all his weapons were on him so he didn't have to spend long suiting up. He jumped onto his bike and raced to Wayne Manor, heart thumping and hoping, praying to anyone that would listen, that his family were okay. That they were alive. Bruce had died and Jason knew they couldn't take another hit. He urged the bike faster, pushing it to its limits. He had just become part of the family again, Bruce's death bringing him back to the rest of them. He couldn't lose them now. Not after he still had so much to do and say.

The  young adult didn't wait for the black gates to open, crashing through them. The Manor looked okay, no smoke or collapsed roof but he didn't slow down. He jumped off the bike, throwing it still running onto the ground and crashed into the front door, it breaking off its hinges with the force he had used to tackle it. Jason rolled on the floor a few times, springing to his feet and sprinting to where the noise seemed to be coming from. He ripped his guns out of their holsters and kicked open the door, his guns out in front and ready to shoot. He paused as he surveyed the room. There were no attackers, no ninjas trying to kill his family. Dick turned from where he was running around and looked at him, tears running down his eyes.

"You came!!" He wailed in relief.

"Errmmm.... okay. I think I'm missing something." Dick's hair seemed to move and Jason aimed his gun at his head.

"Wait! NO!" Dick threw himself in front of the gun. Now that he was closer, Jason could see the thing wasn't an alien monster but a ... kitten? The black feline looked up at him and meowed quietly.

"Okay what the hell is going on?" Before Dick could answer him, Tim came running in from a side door, crying with a kitten on his face.

"Get it off! Get it off!! GET IT OFFFF!!!" His last toe hit the edge of the doorframe, bending back painfully and making him scream. That in turn, scared the kitten hanging onto his face and made it dig its claws further into Tim's scalp and earned another scream of pain from the teenaged male.

"-tt- Stop running so I can get her off." Damian appeared after him two kittens in his arms. He put them on the sofa to help Tim as Tim ran towards his voice.

"Wait Tim! There's a -" A crash as Tim ran straight into the table. "-table."

"Well, at least he's finally still." Damian knelt down and began to carefully pry the scared kitten off his face. "There there, I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay, you don't have to be scared anymore."

"What is going on?! Why are there so many cats around?" Jason asked, getting annoyed at the fact no one was telling him what was going on. He had been sure, and sacred, that they were under attack, but they looked completely fine.

"It seems Alfred the Cat is actually a girl. She disappeared a few weeks back and returned just a few hours ago, with a litter." Alfred walked in, carrying another kitten. The mother cat was walking beside him.

"I thought you were under attack! Your exact words were 'Tim is down and we can't find Damian'."

"We are!!" Tim moaned, the kitten finally off his face. He still hadn't gotten up but had rolled onto his front and buried his face into the thick, cream carpet. One of the cats jumped from the sofa and landed on the back his head. "It's on me. One of them is on me!!!" Dick walked up and plucked it off of him, and Tim groaned miserably into the carpet.

"Master Damian, please refrain from placing the kittens on the furniture, they are tearing it to bits," Alfred spoke in an exasperated tone, plucking the remaining kitten off the sofa. "Master Timothy was down on the floor after the several of the kittens leapt on him and Master Damian took as many kittens as he could and hid so that we could not take that kittens off him."

"So why am I here again?" Jason took his helmet off and stood in the entrance, staring at them.

"Damian won't let us give the kittens away-"

"They need to stay with their mother until they're at least twelve weeks old! And why would we do something so cruel as to separate them from their mother! You wouldn't do that to a human baby, so why would you do that to these kittens?"

"-So we're stuck with them. And there are too many kittens and not enough humans to look after them." Dick sighed.

"Damian, you were separated from your father for ten years," Tim pointed out a flaw in Damian's argument.

"And look what it did to me! I have nightmares, I'm scared of the dark, of heights, of spiders and insects-"

"Hey, entomophobia is a valid fear," Jason interjected. Damian glared at him.

"I can't stand to be left alone, I cry all the time-"

"Okay, now you're taking it too far," Tim interrupted. Damian threw a pillow at him.

"We can't separate them from their loving mother, it would kill them. Literally!"

"See what I mean?" Dick turned to Jason, pleading.

"What about Babs?"

"Helping Dinah with a mission."

"Steph?"

"In the middle of a test."

"Math test to be exact!" Tim eagerly put in. Both his older brothers rolled their eyes at his love sickness towards Steph.

"Cass? Kate? Luke?"

"In Hong Kong. On a date with her girlfriend, you think she's gonna ditch Reneé for this? They've been planning this for a while now. Reneé is a nice girl, we can't spoil their date. And Luke isn't answering his phone. He's doing repairs for his suit I think," Dick rattled off. "But you're here now, you'll help, won't you Jay?" Dick looked at him desperately, Tim miserably as another kitten began to bite his neck and Damian just looked at him, probably hoping Jason would say no so he could spend more time with the kittens. Even Alfred looked at him, tired from running after all the kittens. He sighed in defeat.

"I've never held a cat." Surr, he had lived with stray cats and dogs, but the cats never let anyone touch them and most tried to shoo them away. The dogs were a little better but most of them had violent owners and were violent in turn. Damian's head whipped to look at Jason, the kitten in his lap losing his attention as he openly gaped at Jason.

"Uh oh. I don't think you should have said that, Jay."

"No, let him. Say it again Jay, get these monsters away from me," Tim gloomily spoke, not lifting his head off the ground. Damian didn't even tell him off for calling the felines monsters. Instead, the ten year old picked up the kitten on Tim's neck, holding it in his other hand. He stood up and jumped onto the sofa, leaping off the back of it and onto the floor, ignoring Alfred's noise of protest.

"Here, you hold them like this," Dick held out his hand, knowing what Damian was about to do, and Damian placed the kitten in it, not even looking at Dick. With one hand free, he arranged Jason's arms, putting one hand on top of the other across his stomach, like you would hold a baby. Damian placed the kitten in his palm, Jason's large palm dwarfing the tiny kitten, then moved to Dick and took the kitten out of his hand and placed it on Jason's wrist. He tiptoed, fingers reaching for Dick's head. Dick leant down and let Damian take the cat off his head and put it on Jason's arm. He then ran towards Alfred, the butler handing him the kittens in his hands, Damian scurrying back with the last two and putting the two on Jason's forearm, the last one nestled in the crook of Jason's elbow.

"Awww!" Dick fawned over Jason. He glared at him.

"I will stick a gun so far up your shithole-"

"Master Jason, language!"

"-Your bottom and shoot you."

Damian ran back to Alfred, scooping up the cat that was resting on his foot. He stood in front of Jason, looking up and tried to find a spot where Alfred the Cat- though she would probably need a new name- could sit. Dick picked him up by the armpits and Damian draped the mother cat along Jason's broad shoulders, the space more than enough for the cat to fit. The cat stayed there for a few minutes then changed position, placing her back legs on either side of Jason's neck, her claws digging into his leather jacket and making him thank God it was thick, and placed her front two paws on his head.

Damian moved back and looked at him, nodding his head as if he'd turned something ugly into a masterpiece. Tim by that time had gotten up from the ground and over to where Jason was standing. He stayed back, wary that one of the baby cats would leap at him.

"Jason, say 'cheese' for the picture!" Dick smiled, bringing his phone up.

"WHAT!? Don't you dare take that fucking picture, Dick."

"Don't jostle them! And don't swear in front of them," Damian told him.

"Master Jason, please stop swearing, you now owe the Swear Jar ten dollars." Jason growled at that, scowling as he realised he didn't have that money. Roy had blown all their money once more on technology.

"Hey! How come it's five dollars for him when he swears but ten for us!?" Tim complained.

"Because Master Jason is legally dead and cannot work as well as not being fortunate enough to inherit a vast sum of money." Alfred turned to Jason, a camera suddenly appearing in his hands. "Now Master Jason, smile for the camera. There are so few pictures of you in the Wayne photo album, we really must remedy it."

Who was Jason to go against Alfred's orders? He pursed his lips and sighed before smiling at Alfred, a normal grin instead of his crazy one. Dick and Tim also snapped a few pictures. Damian meanwhile was busy fretting around him, changing his grip every so often.

"Do you like holding them?" He didn't give Jason time to answer. "Of course, you like them. They're so soft and furry." Damian stopped and smiled at one of the kittens, reaching up and stroking it between its ears. Jason sighed and knelt down so the kid could reach the cats better. "You did not need to do that, Todd. I could reach easily." Damian's small smile stopped the words from having any bite. Jason sighed at him.

"Tch please, you can't even reach my armpits on tiptoes." Damian glared at him.

"If you weren't holding the cats, I would punch you."

Damian took the kitten in Jason's palm off of him and grabbed the hand that wasn't holding any animals, moving it to pet the kitten. Jason hesitated, unsure if he would hurt the kitten.

"Go on, Todd." Jason stroked the kitten, one finger taking up the entire space between its ears. The young animal made Jason feel even bigger and he was scared he would accidentally hurt the animal. He would have felt awful if that happened and Damian probably would kill him for it. "They will not break, Todd."

In the end, Jason spent the entire day at the Manor, most of it with at least two different cats in his arms. By the time the kittens had fallen asleep, Alfred declared it too late for him to leave. Although he was offered his old bedroom, Jason refused to sleep in it, deciding to sleep in one of the many guest rooms.

* * *

A scream was what woke him up. Jason rolled out of the bed, grabbing the guns he had stashed under his pillow. The duvet caught around his legs as he hurriedly ran out of the room. He kicked the material off and ran out of the corridor, Bruce's silk PJ bottoms swinging around his legs and hitting the other leg's material and tangling in it. It annoyed Jason enough to contemplate ripping them off. He didn't in the end, not wanting to confront an enemy in just his boxers. Dick and Damian flung open their doors and sprinted down the corridor with him, a knife in Damian's hand. Jason kicked down Tim's door, where the screaming was coming from. The boy was laying on his bed, a kitten on his face as he wailed in pain. The three paused in the doorway, the eldest two laughing at Tim's misfortune.

"How did the kitten get up here in the first place? Didn't we put it in a basket with a blanket over the top?"

"Don't know and don't care, Dickie. God, I wish I had a camera to snap this."

Damian was the one who came to Tim's aid, again gently prying the stubborn kitten off. Tim breathed a sigh of relief as the pain stopped.

"Thanks, Damian," he smiled at Damian.

"-tt- I didn't do it for you. I did it for the poor kitten. She must be traumatised after being on your face for Allah knows how long. I will have to wash her thoroughly to make sure you haven't infected her." Damian placed the kitten to his chest, gently patting her.

Jason spent the next day with them, playing with the kittens. After breakfast, Damian demanded they go to a pet shop to get food for the kittens- even though they didn't have teeth- as well as toys and baskets for them. Tim offered to take him, wanting to be away from the demon cats as long as possible, leaving Jason, Dick and Alfred to look after the five kittens and adult cat.

* * *

Within a few days after he had left, there were pictures of him with the kittens, playing and holding them going around the Batfamily. Steph and Barbara, as well as Kate, had all told him he looked adorable with them. In retaliation, he sent all the pictures of Tim and the kitten on his face. When everyone had cooed at the cuteness- the opposite of what he wanted- he broke into Tim's room once he had finally fallen asleep (after spending fifty hours awake) and drew doodles on his face in permanent marker just hours before he had a big meeting. A moustache, several dicks, large round glasses and a 'Place Kitten here' with an arrow on his forehead, were just a few of thing he put on his slumbering brother's face. For Dick, he got all his Batman suits and cut the trousers off, leaving him with green pixie shorts to wear for patrol. He had sent several photos to Barabra, with a 'you're welcome' at the bottom. She had replied that she had already gotten some from satellites, but thanked him for his were closer.

Cass had bought him a top with a basket of kittens printed on it. He had worn it for her and only her. Unfortunately, that cute, innocent face hid a devious trickster and within seconds of him putting it on, Steph had jumped seemingly out of nowhere and had taken pictures of him which she then sent to everyone else. To get back at her, he sent everyone pictures and videos of her falling off buildings, getting tangled up in the grappling wire, sleeping with her mouth open, drool from her lips and hair in a crazy mess and the time she had sung into a brush, moving her body wildly in what he thought was a dance routine whilst she thought she was alone. She didn't show her face in patrol for three days, avoiding them all and cutting through everybody's patrol routes so she wouldn't meet any of them. Anytime she did, they would mercilessly begin to perform her dance moves, sing the song or mime having a microphone in front of their mouthes. Some did all three.

All in all, Jason thought, a grin on his mouth as he sat on a roof with a chilidog in his hand as he listened to them talk on the comms, his revenge was good. But his family were better.


End file.
